Translating Clients

Sometimes we feel like expressing clueless comments to satisfy our egos. This expression is one such creation. It is inspired from another article that I read (Translating Women). Here is a corporate version:-)

Disclaimer: Comments have been picked from real life; however the translated version is solely the writer’s expression of humor. Strictly not meant to make mockery, nevertheless, laughter would be appreciated:-))

Translating Prospects / Clients(as in a business deal:-))

I THINK you have done a good job – are you kidding me!!

I want it tomorrow – I expected it day before yesterday!!

Will you be able to come down for discussions – You goofed up now bring your ass!!

Your products / services are good but…- Your products / services are really good but I m searching for a flaw to negotiate further.

Your products / services are unaffordable – You guys are minting money.

You guys are minting money – What’s your package?

What’s your package? – We have an offer.

We have an offer – Do you have any vacancy?

There is no professionalism in what you do – Actually we are not accustomed to such high professionalism.

I am neck-deep in work – Outsourcing is not helping much.

We need to fix this issue – You better fix it else your competitor gets the renewal.

How do you select people in your company – We have lots of ‘pain-in-the-ass” cases here.

Your proposition sounds interesting – How much do you charge?

How do you suggest we go about using your products / services? – How much do you charge?

Why don’t you submit a proposal – Interesting concept but too expensive.

This seems to be a new concept – You are talking alien here.

Call me later – don’t dare to bother me again.

Can you provide me some more information? – I have no clue on the topic…please help me!!!!!

I have no clue on the topic…please help me!!!!! – You should (at least) appreciate my honesty:-)

You talk like a consultant – I know more than you do.

I know more than u do – Lets change the topic, u seem to be more enlightened.

This is not acceptable – I want value for money.

You guys work hard – This needed hard work, that’s why we outsourced it to u.

I think you can do it – You better do it, you are being paid for that.

I would like to meet your boss – I know you don’t have authority to reduce price.

Your competitor is pretty affordable – Your competitor is worthless.

We are considering other proposals also – Give me a good offer and you got it.

Give me a good offer and you got it – We have already decided this is yours; no one is ready to pick this job at such a low cost.

We are considering other proposals also (another version) – We are still trying to understand the concept.

Let’s shake hands – You got it!! I dumped my job for a dirt cheap price.

Enjoy…

Prateek